Blessing as request, not declaration
On the grammar of traditional blessings, and what it means that they're phrased as wishes rather than statements.
Transcript
This is a short one, but it changed how a few of us talk to each other, so we wanted to share it.
Listen closely to an old blessing and you'll notice it almost never declares anything outright. It asks. May you find rest. May this house be kept safe. The grammar favors the wish, the request, over the flat declarative sentence that simply states a fact.
A blessing phrased as a declaration presumes an authority the speaker might not actually have. A blessing phrased as a request builds humility directly into its sentence structure, whether or not the person saying it consciously feels humble in that moment.
We started paying attention, this week, to whether our own well-wishes to each other declared or requested. It's a smaller difference than a single word, and it turned out to be a bigger difference than we expected in how it actually landed.
Next time you offer someone well-wishes, notice your own grammar. See if it's asking on their behalf, or granting on your own authority.